I'm back...

So it's been a while... 2 years, actually... I don't know what it was that suddenly made me want to write on here, but whatever it was, I'm back, and I've got this rush inside me of wanting to bring back this very blog that made me so happy and calm. My little space of the internet, where I can write whatever I want, however I want. 

How are you? I used to have a nice little following on here. If you're currently reading this, and you used to be a follower, please let me know. In no way do I expect anyone to have stuck around or two years! But if by some miracle you have, thank you. And if you're new, welcome - it's good to have you on board!

I guess to start off with, happy new year! We have just entered 2018. I celebrated on my own, in my cosy bedroom with a bottle of Buck's Fizz and Netflix. To be perfectly honest, it was my ideal way of bringing in the new year. I've become a massive homebody over the last few years. Gone are the days of spending my evenings in nightclubs, with their obnoxiously loud music and hoards of sweaty drunks. I much prefer to spend time with my friends over a nice dinner, maybe a bar if I'm feeling particularly social, or even just a night in with Netflix and wine (can you see the theme here?). 

Maybe it would have been nice to have had my boyfriend with me to celebrate the new year (for any long-time readers, yes, I am still with dear old Tommy - we can hardly believe it either!), but I've become increasingly more comfortable at spending time on my own. Last year, I lived in a flat of my own, with my two gorgeous guinea pigs, so got very used to enjoying my own company. A few months ago, my sister got a job near me, so we decided to get a house together for a year - surprisingly, we keep out of each others way and haven't yet killed each other! 

2017 brought me a wealth of emotions. I started the year by risking a lot. I quit a job that I'd worked incredibly hard to get to, because it made me so miserable. Luckily, through closing that door, it opened a brand new one, and I am now working in a fantastically supportive environment that I actually want to wake up for. I met some incredible people this year, that have changed my outlook on a few things. I solidified friendships that already existed, spent precious time with both mine and Tommy's families, and fell even more in love with my guinea pigs. 

We also had some pretty tragic family news (more on this another time), that completely shook us all. But through the heartache and shittiness of it all, it showed that side of my family coming together in ways I've never seen before. It showed that I have some pretty incredible people in my life who I am so unbelievably proud to call my family. 

I won't promise to post on here weekly, or even monthly. From here, it's going to be a pretty casual place for me to unload my thoughts when I feel the need to. I do, however, have lots of ideas, so do stay tuned for that!

Here's to 2018 bringing us more joy, laughter and milestones (and hopefully getting me out of debt!!).

Grief

This week, I've experienced my first real feeling of grief. The only people in my life who have passed away before now, were my great-grandparents. Although that was sad, they had lived in the North my whole life, so I very rarely saw them. I didn't know them very well, and I don't have any strong memories that tied me to them. So although yes, it was sad, I never experienced that grief. 

Last week, my grandad passed away. He'd been ill for the last 10 years or so as his lungs were failing after his smoking habits when he was younger (don't smoke, kids!). He lived in Cornwall with his wife, so we'd drive down to see him every year. It was sad to see his health deteriorate every time we saw him, but unlike my great grandparents, I have vivid memories of him from when I was younger, so even though we had been expecting this for years, it was a huge shock to the system when we actually heard the news. 

Luckily, I was staying with Mr. T. when I found out, so had access to unlimited hugs when I needed them, and it was easier to distract myself from being sad as I wasn't just wallowing in my room. I was experiencing sporadic explosions of tears on the day he passed, but I calmed down a lot after that first day. Of course I was still upset, but I was thinking more about the memories I have of him before he got ill, and was glad that he no longer had to constantly be hooked up to his oxygen tank. 

The normal grieving process is that you have the initial shock, the initial emotions, the acceptance, and then the funeral. The funeral is where the whole family can gather, everyone that loved the one you lost, together in one place, to say their last goodbyes...

But of course, things can't always be that simple with my family. 

In the last few days, my mum, my aunt, me, my brother and sister, and my cousins - every direct family member - have been blocked (our numbers and Facebook profiles) by his wife. For no reason at all. My mum has been nothing but supportive, not just in the last week, but throughout the entire time we've known her. And as soon as he's no longer with us, she drops us like flies. 

My aunt rang the funeral director in the hopes of finding out when the funeral is, as we have no way of contacting her to find out. She was told that she has specifically requested that he not tell anyone when or where the funeral is taking place, and because she is the next of kin, he has to respect her wishes. 

How anyone can be so cruel, so evil, as to stop someone from going to their own dad's funeral is simply disgusting. Grief does some weird things to people, but we can't pin in down to that. There's no excuse for what she's done, and quite frankly, she can rot for all I care! At the end of the day, we can live knowing that we did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant being treated like that. She has to live with the guilt of stopping her late husband's family from saying goodbye to him. 

We will of course be having our own memorial back home, planting a tree in our garden for him, and setting off some helium balloons, and remembering him how we'd like to - without this horrible, evil, bitch of a woman in tow.

It just puts everything from the last 15 years into question. We welcomed her into our family. We thought she'd accepted us as family too. But what if all of it was a lie? What if she was playing us all from the start? Maybe she was always after the little money my grandad had, so as soon as he is gone, she wants nothing more to do with us. If there is truth to that, I just don't see why she couldn't have waited until after the funeral to drop us. She's a disgusting, evil woman, and I'm glad to have nothing to do with her from now on.

I know this has been a very ranty post, and to be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm going to upload it. I've always said that this blog is a form of therapy for me, and I just needed to write out my feelings. I don't expect anyone to have finished this post, but if you have, thank you. I hope that none of you have to experience anything like this when you're trying to grieve a loved one. 

Two Years

If you've been following this blog for a while, you'll know all about my fluctuating relationship with the man I like to call Mr T. A few weeks ago, we celebrated our second anniversary, and I'm happy to say that those months of uncertainty and confusion are over. 

Every anniversary should be a milestone in a relationship, but for us, this one was particularly special. Last year, for our first anniversary, we didn't celebrate. I still wasn't 100% sure if our relationship was working, and he confused the hell out of me with everything he did. Whereas a year on, we've never been this solid, and I've never been this sure that we really are in a great place. 

He took me to Strada (anyone who knows me, knows I love a good Italian!), where he'd asked for a bottle of Prosecco to wait for us on our table - treats like that don't come often, I was very surprised! 

Another surprise was his outfit choice - he wore a waistcoat and I almost died from cuteness overload. I think we've found my weakness... 

Now I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't even be writing this post if he hadn't reminded me to take pictures! So I forgot to take a picture of the starter. I had the Tricolore (a mozzarella, avocado and tomato salad), which was really good, and Mr. T had the bruschetta. 

For the main course, Mr T. ordered the Saltimbocca (I couldn't tell you what it was, but the bite I had was good!), and  I had the Chicken Puccia. I thought it was just the Parma-wrapped chicken with cheese and pesto, but it came served as a burger which actually made it even tastier (the fries were also amazing). 

We shared the chocolate fondant for dessert, and left the restaurant very full, a little tipsy, and extremely satisfied! 

I don't know where we'll be in the next two years, but I'm glad we've made it to this point of contentness. <3 

When Love Takes Over

So the typical story goes: boy meets girl, boy asks girl out, a relationship starts to blossom, and after a few months, they say their "I love you"'s, and everything's good. Mine and Mr T's story has always been a little... unconventional...

Boy meets girl, boy tells girl he likes her, girl says she has a boyfriend. Boy and girl stay friends, but after a while, girl starts to feel a little something for boy. Girl ends her relationship, and after a few weeks, boy and girl start seeing each other, making things official after about a month. Boy and girl are happy. Girl starts to realise that boy isn't happy anymore, so they end things. Boy and girl talk a little, before boy pisses off girl, and girl almost does something she'd regret to piss off boy in return. Although girl didn't do the bad thing, she tells boy anyway, and somehow this becomes a way for them to be friends again. Boy and girl come back to uni, and start seeing each other again. Things are rocky for a while, with no real definition of their relationship. Girl falls in love with boy, but boy seems indifferent. Christmas gives their relationship a definition, but boy still seems indifferent to girl. Girl finds herself getting upset over everything because she knows her feelings are a lot stronger than boy's. Boy does something little that really upsets girl, forcing her mind to bring up every little thing he's ever done, and pushes her over the edge. Girl goes crazy and gives boy an ultimatum. Boy gets his act together, and both are happy. Girl brings up the "I love you" issue, and asks why boy can't feel those things back. Boy tells girl that he's happy as he is, and he doesn't want to ruin their relationship by moving too fast. Girl thinks this is bullshit, but keeps her thoughts to herself for a while, before asking again a few months later. Boy tells girl he thinks he loves her, but won't say anything until he knows for sure. This makes girl happy. Until it's been another 3 months and boy still hasn't said anything. Girl tells boy outright that she loves him, and boy replies that that is the cutest thing he's ever heard. Girl is upset that boy still couldn't say it back. While drunk, boy tells girl he doesn't love her, whilst laughing. Girl asks boy the next day if that's true. Boy replies that he wouldn't say it's true, but he also wouldn't say that he 100% does love her. Girl is upset. Boy goes home for the weekend, still leaving the issue unsolved.

This was two weeks ago now. Imagine you were in my position. You've been in love with this guy for over a year, and you've been waiting the entire time for him to say it back... And it just never came. Imagine that it gets to the point where you start to think about your worth. That no matter how much you care about this guy, you know you deserve to be loved in return, and that if this guy can't give you that love, maybe you need to give up, and find someone who can. You think about how much you've compromised for this man, how many times you've let things slide, and that if he still can't love you, that glimmer of hope you've been holding onto for the last year, has gone out. You prepare yourself for an emotional, in depth conversation that could end one of two ways, and then...

A knock on your bedroom door surprised you, and Mr. T. walks in, with chocolate, Mountain Dew, and a determined look on his face. He closes the door, pulls you in for a cuddle, and says that he's been thinking about it on the train back, and for once, there have been no thoughts of doubt. No little voice in his head saying that he doesn't love me. And then he says it. The one thing you've been waiting to hear for over a year. I love you.

I'll admit, my reaction was more shocked than anything. I didn't run, crying into his arms. I gave an awkward kiss and a cuddle and put on Netflix. Maybe my reaction would have been more emotional if I hadn't have spent the last 4 days angrily thinking of reasons why we maybe shouldn't be together anymore. But it had an impact. Those thoughts are gone now. I'm happy, and for once, there's no voice in my head pestering me that he's not committed to us.

Now I'm not saying that, now he's finally said I love you, we're gonna be together forever, get married, and have kids. Who knows how long our relationship will last. That's not meaning to sound negative, but life is so unpredictable, it throws so many twists and turns, you never know how long things will last. I mean I don't even know how we're gonna cope past graduation this summer!

But I do know that right now, I feel relaxed. I feel happy. And I feel loved. Which is all that really matters, right?

The Problem With Love

As far as relationships go, mine is pretty unconventional. Without counting our blip last summer, Mr T and I have been together for roughly a year and a half, which is pretty damn long! Yet, he's always had an issue with saying certain things.

He's not an emotional person by any means, so trying to get him to tell me what his issue with "I love you" is, has always been something I've struggled with. I mean sure, saying "I love you" for the first time is always hard. Is it the right time? Do I definitely feel that way? Do they feel the same? etc. etc. But when you know for sure that they do, that should make it easier, right?

About 6 months ago, I asked him why he couldn't feel those things. Yes, he cared about me a lot, but sometimes a girl just wants to be loved, and to know why someone can't yet feel that way. At that point, he told me that he thought it was to do with how things were with his ex, and that he's never truly loved anyone in that way before, so he doesn't know what it felt like.

At that point I knew that he didn't love me. They say that you know when you know, and he definitely didn't know.

I didn't bring it up again, but for the next few months after that, there was a huge change in our relationship, and I started to see a real difference in his actions. It seemed like maybe he was starting to feel things more.

About a month ago, I asked him why he's scared of emotional commitment, and I finally got the real answer. He explained that when you say you love someone, everything becomes so much more intense, and if something goes wrong, it's 100 times worse than if you didn't say that.

It's true, of course it is. But why does that have to stop you from saying that you love someone? I spent the weekend with him for his sister's wedding. A weekend surrounded by love and happiness, and all I wanted to do was tell him that I love him. But I couldn't help thinking that if I said that to him (even though he knows I do), he would feel pressured to say the same, even if he wasn't ready for it.

Love is one of the most powerful emotions we can feel as humans. And the most beautiful. To feel so strongly about another person is scary, especially if you've never experienced that before. But isn't it worth it to let those emotions out, and show the other person how much you care? Because even if something does go wrong, it would still hurt for you. Just because you don't tell someone how you feel, it doesn't stop you from feeling that way.

I'm still waiting for my "I love you". Don't stop someone else from hearing yours. Because trust me, there's nothing better than hearing the person you love say they love you too.

Emotional Attachment

Ooooh, it's been a while, hasn't it! Complaining about relationship issues was my favourite topic until things started to run smoothly! It's not that I'm writing this to complain exactly, but more to vent my frustrations.

My relationship with Mr. T. is a little... unconventional, I suppose. Unlike most couples I know, we don't talk everyday; something that used to bother me a lot. It made me feel like he didn't care about me enough to ask how I was, or to see what I was up to, or even just to chat for the sake of chatting to his girlfriend. And then I'd do that stupid girl thing and look at when he was last online on Facebook and WhatsApp (stalking sessions are the best) and find out that he'd been talking to his friends perfectly fine, or absent-mindedly scrolling though his newsfeed to pass the time, but couldn't find any spare moment in the day to talk to me. I mean long-distance relationships are hard enough already without the added annoyance of one half's neglect for communication (I'm not just talking texts here: phone calls, Skype, WhatsApp, FaceBook Messenger, everything). He'd rather spend his free time with his friends or on his PS3, which bothered me immensely before I realised it wasn't that important, as long as there wasn't huge gaps between talking, and when we did talk, there was actual conversation there, not just pointless chatter.

We've both been really happy for the last few months. But as I mentioned, our relationship isn't as standard as most. With me, it takes a while for me to trust someone, to be able to let them into my life in such a big way. But when I do, I open up fully to them. And I really begin to fall for them. The big L-O-V-E. Mr. T. on the other hand, has always been a closed book. We've been together for over a year (not including our blip last year), but he's never been able to fully open up, never been able to say those words to me, because he's scared of emotional attachment.

And the thing that bothers me is that he won't tell me exactly what it is that's so hard to let himself go, to feel these emotions that everyone else seems perfectly capable of feeling after a certain time. I know that him not being able to feel these things doesn't lessen how much he cares about me, but still, I can't say that it doesn't bother me, because it really does. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you love entirely, even through all their faults and annoyances, who you know no other girl would put up with... but who, for some reason, can't reciprocate that same emotion.

I don't want this to give the impression that I'm in a bad relationship, because I'm really not. We're both the happiest we've ever been together. It's just when we're apart for long periods of time, it makes me think about these things a lot more than I would normally. It's just a little shitty, I guess...

What is Love?

Everyone in the world has a different definition of love. You can love one person, break up, and find yourself falling in love with someone different. And although it's the same emotion, the way you feel it is completely different. You can fall in love with 50 people in your life, and each time, the feelings you have will be different.

I recently had a conversation with my housemate about our definitions of love (I might add that by love, I'm talking about the romantic kind of love). We realised that some people see it as you fall in love, and instantly want to spend the rest of your life with that one person. I don't agree that that's the case. So here's a little list of what love is for me.

Love is having that one person on your mind constantly, if only at the back of your mind.
Love is wanting to spend time with that person, and finding yourself getting a little excited when you speak to them.
Love is wanting to see them happy, no matter how that happens. Whether it's to do with you, or through a hobby of theirs. And finding joy in their happiness.
Love is having a constant feeling of content in your life, knowing that this one person can make you so happy.
Love isn't wanting to be together forever, but not wanting there to be an end to it anytime soon.

Feel free to leave your own definitions below, I'd be interested to see how other people feel!

Vulnerability

I’ve been struggling for the last few months with the feeling of vulnerability. Not wanting to do or say certain things so that I don’t have to feel like the “weak one”, even though me holding back doesn’t stop me from actually wanting to say or do those things. I’m still vulnerable on the inside, it just doesn’t show as much on the outside - who am I kidding, it still shows!

I was reading Hannah’s blog post about coping with a breakup, and I’ve never related to a post this much before. Not only did it remind me of how I felt after my breakup over the summer, but also how I still feel now, even though we’ve been back together since September.

Feeling so attached to one person is scary. It was scary when our relationship ended, as I felt like I’d lost a huge part of myself, but it’s still scary now. To think that I’m sharing my life with this one guy, who I can’t even be sure feels as strongly about me as I do him, just makes me worry that it could all shatter, just like it did last time. Maybe even more so.

Investing so many feelings and emotions into one person makes you vulnerable. It makes every tiny thing bigger than it actually is. If he doesn’t text you back, it makes you worry that he’s losing interest. If he doesn’t talk to you as much as you’d like, it makes you worry that he doesn’t care enough. If he doesn’t tell you how he feels enough, it makes you worry that it’s because he just doesn’t care about you at all.

All of these insignificant worries are all because of vulnerability. Opening your heart to someone can be a truly wonderful thing. It can make you happy beyond belief, to know that you have another half to make up your whole. To have someone that you care so much about that you’d drop the world for them, and know that they’d do the same.

But at the same time, my fear of being vulnerable has prevented me from saying what or doing what I really want to. Maybe it’s a fear of rejection, or a fear of showing how much I care… It’ll leave me exposed…

There’s nothing wrong with letting your guard down and showing people how you feel. You just need to break past that barrier of fear and weakness which unfortunately, is a lot easier said that done.

Take 2: Second Chances

*WARNING: Extremely long, personal post. A cup of tea and a biscuit is recommended while you read*

So this is a post quite personal to me; one I know you nosey people will love to read! Since starting this blog back in June, my love life has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride. There was my break-up post, which is still by far my most viewed post, my just friends one and my second chances post. I’ve shared a lot with you guys, not that I mind of course. For me, blogging is a way to let out my thoughts and feelings in a healthy way, instead of going mental and punching people in the face! I love doing it, and through sharing these personal aspects of my life, I’ve received a lot of positive feedback and support, which I can’t thank you guys enough for.

I’ve also received a lot of questions in comments, tweets and emails regarding my relationship that I haven’t shared with anyone, or even mentioned in posts… Such as, “why would you give a second chance to someone who hurt you?” or “aren’t you worried the exact same thing will happen again?”.

[Now to start with, I’m going to ask that if a certain someone is reading this, (you know exactly who you are), please stop. I know you get a bit nosey, but this is gonna get personal. I also know you’re going to completely ignore this and carry on reading anyway, so don’t blame me when you don’t like reading some parts! *sigh*]

I’ve never thought that second chances were wrong or a bad decision, but it all depends on the situation. I’d like to think that if a guy cheated on me, or hurt me in a bad way, they wouldn’t deserve a second chance. But then again, I’ve never been in that position. For us, we broke up because things just weren’t right. It was too intense for such a short relationship, as are most first year uni relationships, and it got too much for him. At the time, that hurt a lot. But after giving things another go, it makes sense to me. It was too much, too fast, and it wouldn’t have been right for him to string along the relationship just to spare my feelings. In a way, I’m glad things went that way.

The thing that hurt the most wasn’t even the break-up; it was something he did a few weeks after, making me feel like he had completely disregarded my feelings and never gave two shits about me. And to be completely honest, I’d never felt so low before. I cared so much about this guy, and he just took a giant shit on my feelings. Even though we’ve moved past this stage, it still hurts a little to think of that moment and to think that he was the one to make me feel that way.

Anyway, after all of that, we started talking again, and that’s where my just friends post came into play. After a few weeks of talking, things seemed to be back to how we were before we were together, one of my uni best friends, jokes, chit-chat and banter. And then we went back to uni…

If you’re thinking we went back and I leapt straight back into his arms, you’re very wrong. In fact, I had no intention of giving things another go, but after many awkward chats and feelings being thrown around (initiated by him, I might add!), we decided to take things slowly and see how we go. So to answer one of those questions, I took him back because I could see how upset he was, and how much he was regretting things. He’s not the type of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve by any account. In fact, he rarely says how he feels about anything (if you are reading this, you should probably change that a bit! Open up more, k?), so seeing him this distressed about something was a shock to the system. Surely that meant that this was genuine, right?

I never stopped caring about him one little bit, even if he did hurt me, so seeing him like that made it easier for me to give him a second chance. And I’m really glad I did. Circumstances are different this year, making it a lot easier for things to work between us.

To answer the second question, yes, I do worry it could happen again. I’ve invested so many feelings into this relationship that I can’t even describe, feelings I don’t even talk to him about because it makes me feel too vulnerable, so of course I worry sometimes. When we’re back home for the holidays is when the worrying is at its worst, basically because we barely see each other, and he likes to do his own thing when at home. And I’m absolutely fine with that. The last thing I want is someone on my back constantly, texting me 24/7 to find out what I’m up to. But if I don’t hear from him for a while, I worry that he’s losing interest and just doesn’t want to talk to me; or if he does talk to me and I get crappy replies, I worry that he just doesn’t care enough to make conversation. When really, the answer’s probably a lot simpler than that. But even though I know that, it doesn’t stop me worrying in the slightest. The littlest thing makes me wonder whether or not he cares. But asking for these things isn't my way of being clingy, it's just for a piece of mind; to me, it's him showing that he cares. My friends and family worry for me, and constantly check with me how he’s acting towards me. It’s not exactly a secret that they’re not his biggest fans… But no matter how much I tell them that it’s fine, that worry is always at the back of my mind, but it’s easy to push past that for the times when he makes up for it.

So to end this extremely long post, I’ll say this: If you’re considering giving someone you care about a second chance, think of this. What did they do? Is it something you can move past? Do you see a positive outlook if you do decide to go for it? If the answer to both of these is yes, than why not just go for it? It can be difficult, and there’s bound to be times where you worry the same thing could happen again, but if you care enough about each other, it can work out. Second chances aren’t always a bad thing. In fact, in a lot of cases, they’re better than the first time round.

Second Chances.

I’m a firm believer that everybody deserves a second chance. Some people may disagree with that. In fact, I know a lot of people disagree. But the way I see it, is everybody makes mistakes. If they can correct those mistakes and prove themselves worthy, why not give them another chance? If they’ve learnt their lesson, surely you can forgive them?

I personally don’t see what the big issue is. Why people make it out to be so much different to give a guy (or girl) a second chance, in comparison to a friend. For example, if I had an argument with a friend, or they did something that upset me, everyone would tell me to forgive them and to give them another chance to prove that they’re a good friend. But when it’s, oh, I don’t know, an ex boyfriend… the matter changes completely.

Sure, there are exceptions. For example, if a guy cheated on me, I’d like to say I’d have the courage and willpower to not take him back. But then again, I can’t really comment on that issue, as it’s never actually happened to me. Although saying that, a friend of mine was put in a milder form of this situation, forgave him, and they’re one of the happiest couples I know. Everybody’s different.

For me, second chances are a way for people to prove that they still deserve a place in your life. I completely believe that they can work, and can make couples and friendships even stronger than before. With second chances, it allows both parties to correct anything that was wrong with the relationship in the first place, giving the opportunity for a better one to work out. 

Second chances aren’t always a bad thing. It’s third, fourth and fifth chances that I have no interest in. If you can’t correct your mistakes after the second chance, you sure as hell don’t deserve anymore.

Have any of you been in a situation where you’ve given someone a second chance? Did it work? Or if you haven’t, do you agree with them?

Long Distance Relationships.

September is upon us! Which means that thousands of new students will be joining the university ranks, which, in my opinion, is the best experience of your life! But anyway, as I thought about all the new freshers, I recalled last year, when I myself was just a teeny tiny newbie (not that I’ve grown much in the last year), and how, despite how excited I was to be going to uni, I was nervous about whether or not my relationship would last.

I’d say I’m pretty qualified to talk about long distance relationships, as my last two have, at some point, involved distance. I was with my ex for 2 years prior to uni, and we were in a pretty good place as far as I can remember. When applying to unis, we knew that we wanted to do different things, so we both applied for different unis across different parts of the country. We didn’t worry about how hard it was going to be to stay together, as we knew that whatever decision we made about our uni choices was far more important to our later lives.

He ended up going off to Southampton, and me to Canterbury. That meant that if we wanted to visit each other, we’d have to get a train/coach into London, then back down again. We discussed everything before we left, having every intention of making things work, but as soon as we moved, I knew things weren’t going to last.

That sounds bad, but I did. It was inevitable. We were both enjoying ourselves far too much, and I’ll admit, I didn’t want to make an effort, because I was having too much fun where I was. I didn’t want to take a weekend out to go and visit, and I could slowly feel myself losing interest. As much as I still cared about him, it didn’t feel like a relationship anymore, and when we went home for Christmas, things weren’t the same in the slightest. We broke up soon after that.

Another example is with my then uni boyfriend, who lives in Cambridgeshire, about a 2 hour journey from me. When we went home for our Easter break, the distance had an opposite affect on our relationship. Instead of making us drift apart, I found myself making a ridiculous amount of effort to make contact with him, that I’ve never experienced before. I longed for our nightly 3 hours Skype chats, and I was so excited when we did get to visit each other. If anything, the distance made me love him even more, because of all that anticipation.

There’s no telling what way a relationship can go when it’s long distance. All I can say, is that if you’re both willing to make the effort to see and talk to each other regularly, I don’t see why things couldn’t work out. But I can’t stress this enough: never choose to stay close to home or go to the same uni as your partner, just because you’re worried about breaking up. You’re still young, do what’s best for you, and if it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way to make it work between you.