Blogmas Day 8: Stress

For today's post, I thought I'd get a little deep with you guys. I won't lie to you, the last few weeks have proved majorly stressful for me. The pressures of "the future" have gotten a little too high, and I've realised just how quickly things have come around. 

I've got 4 months until my final essay for university is due in, and 7 months until my graduation. I've known for a while that I wanted to do a PGCE course after uni to become a primary school teacher, so the last few weeks have been a rush of completing uni deadlines, writing my UCAS teacher application, making sure my references are completed, and booking skills tests (before you can undertake the course, you have to have completed a Literacy and Numeracy skills test). To be frank, it's been utter chaos. I've never been used to this much pressure at one time. What if I'm not accepted? I have no backup at all, as much as I love it at home, there's no way I want to go back to living with my parents. 

With Christmas around the corner, I was expecting to be full of festive cheer, not struggling to find old GCSE certificates, spending money on train tickets for interviews and tests, researching current educational issues and curriculums, planning presentations, trying to focus on essays, all while trying to remain cheery for Christmas. It's hard work, and something I wasn't prepared for. 

It scares me; the idea that in just 8 days, I'll be 21. That by January, I'll know whether or not I'll be starting my PGCE in September. That in 6 months, I'll be leaving Canterbury, and all the amazing friends and memories that I've made here, not knowing how long Mr T and I will last outside of uni. That in September, all going well, that I will be starting a year-long intense teacher training course that will see the beginning of my planned career. That in 18 months, I may become a qualified teacher, and enter the "working world"... It's all hit me at once, and it's made me realise that I'm really not prepared for these changes. 

I don't want to grow up... 

I promise tomorrow will be more of a cheery post, but I just needed to vent a little.