What's Best For You?

Sometimes, life throws you into a world of shit, and it's nearly impossible to get out of it without the help of friends and family. For me, this has been my recent break up. It's been over a week now since it happened, and I'm still not over it. It'll take a while for that to happen.

My friends have been amazing, trying to get me out of the house, and stopping me from sitting in bed all day, watching Bridget Jones while eating my body weight in Ben & Jerrys - it happens to the best of us! But even though they've been doing their best to help me, I can't help but get annoyed at certain things.

The common "he's a dick, you deserve better" phrase has become the norm amongst my friends. And although yes, I do deserve better than how things ended, Mr X is in no way a "dick". He was nothing but nice about the whole thing, and he never wronged me once throughout our relationship.

Since we broke up, I've wanted to talk to Mr X. Just talk things over, clear the air, find out what actually happened, so we could go back to being the good friends we were before our relationship began. But not one person agreed with me that sending him a message was the right thing. Not one. There were two counter-arguments. The first, was to wait for him to speak to me, which in my opinion, is childish. What if he was waiting for me to speak to him first. After all, if I was the one to end a relationship, I would try to give the other person space, and wait for them to speak to me first. The second counter-argument was that I should cut off all contact until we go back to uni in September. 3 months. 3 whole months. If anything, that would make the whole situation extremely awkward, not the opposite, which is what I was trying to salvage by talking to him.

I tried to take everyone's advice and not talk to him, but every night, I would over-think things, and get emotional over it. So last night, I wrote out an essay message to send him, explaining that I wanted to be friends again, but could he explain what actually happened to make his feelings for me change. I saved it on my computer, and contemplated whether I should send it or not.

I woke up this morning, knowing full well that I needed to send it in order to try and move on with my life. So I sent it. And waited for a reply. The response I got was so sweet it brought me to tears again, and it explained that it was nothing I did, and that I hope I know that I have no reason to change anything about myself. He told me that he was focusing too much on himself, and not making enough effort with me, which wasn't fair, and that I deserved better than that, but that he was more than happy to go back to being friends. We then spent the next hour talking about random shit, just like we did before.

So the moral of this longwinded story, is that although friends give you good advice that, yes, you should listen to, sometimes you need to go against that, and follow your heart. Do what you believe is best for you, not what other people think is best.