Comfort Zones

In the last year, since going to university, I’ve changed a hell of a lot. Even my friends and family back home have noticed a difference in me, almost a new-found confidence.

I was always the shy, quiet girl growing up. Always. When the other girls in my class were piling on the makeup, and going through loads of boyfriends, I was quite content to sit at home, just reading a book or something. I was perfectly happy in my own company, in a calm environment that I could control. I loved going out with friends, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a complete loner. But I really did enjoy just being at home with my family.

It wasn’t until I started uni that I really found myself, however cheesy that sounds. I quickly found myself as part of an amazing group of friends, who really have made my entire uni experience as perfect as it could have been. Even though my friends have played a big part in making me come out of my shell more, I don’t actually think that’s the main reason…

This sounds vain, but honestly, I think a big part in building my confidence has been because of the attention I’ve received from guys since being here. Growing up, I was never the “pretty” one, partly because I never really cared how I looked. So I never received much attention from the boys I knew, which I didn’t care about anyway. It wasn’t until my first year of sixth form, that I really started to make an effort, but even then, if the guys I knew did find me attractive, they never said, because they knew my boyfriend at the time.

But as soon as I went to university, I was immersed into a completely new environment where I didn’t know a single person. And in that first week, I’d received way more attention than I have in my whole life before then. It was an odd experience, and it sounds vain – well, it is vain! – but I really did enjoy it.

It’s a part of being female: we can’t help but love being admired. It’s embedded in our brains to enjoy receiving this attention, and because I’d never received it before, it felt really nice. It made me feel a lot better about myself, which in return, made me a hell of a lot more confident.

Before uni, I hated meeting new people. I was more than happy to stay in my circle of friends. But now, I love going out and meeting everyone! I love getting to know people, and stepping out of my comfort zone to make new friends. I can’t imagine how different my experience would have been had I not stepped out of that zone – I’d have way less friends, for a start!

I guess what I’m trying to say here, is that although comfort zones are, well, comforting, sometimes it’s better to step out of those, do something different, something out of character. Because who knows, it may just make you feel a hell of a lot better about yourself.

Public vs. Private

I never used to be a very public person. I was always to quiet, shy kid in the corner, and even though I had a really close group of friends, I still didn’t tell them things about my private life that I didn’t feel the need to. In fact, one of my friends stopped talking to me for a week because she found out I liked a boy and hadn’t told her (oh the joys of secondary school).

But since moving away to university, I have a whole new found confidence, and I’ve completely come out of my shell. Apparently coming out of my shell means I have no issues telling anyone anything about my life! I’m not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing – it’s always good to share your feelings, and have people that you can talk to about anything that goes through your head.

But sometimes I feel like there should always be an element of privacy in your life. For example, if the littlest thing happens to me, or a thought goes through my head, the first thing I do is tell one of the girls. Usually in essay text messages (which I’m sure they love me for, by the way!).

I know that complaining about all this is contradicted by the fact that I write down any feelings I have into this very blog. But then again, I feel like this is a therapeutic way of doing things. It also allows random people of the internet who may be experiencing similar situations, feel like they’re not so alone. For example, I was reading Hannah’s blog the other night (which I highly recommend, by the way. She’s brilliant!), and she had written a similar post to my break up post that I wrote a few weeks ago. Just knowing that one other person is experiencing something similar, makes it that little bit easier.

I’m not saying you should tell everyone absolutely everything that goes through your head, but sometimes, a problem shared is a problem halved. It’s not a weakness to show people how you feel, and in the end, if it lifts some of the weight off your shoulder, surely that’s worth it?