Let's go back to mine...

I’ve always been a sucker for room décor, but I’ve never really had the space or opportunity to make up a room exactly how I want to. With my bedroom at home, there were always timing issues that stopped me from redecorating. There was my sister moving out, exams, and by the time I was able to redecorate, I only had a few weeks left before starting university. With my room in uni accommodation last year, I was limited as to what I could do with the space, as there were many rules we weren’t allowed to break. I never felt like it was really my own space.

Whereas now, I’ve moved into rented accommodation, which to me, feels more like a home. I’m able to do what I want with the space, within reason of course, and I’m finally happy with it.

I love being nosy and looking at other people’s rooms, so I thought I’d give you lovely people the opportunity to have a sneaky look at mine! Let’s get intimate!

Internet Addiction

3 days without internet… Seems do-able, right? Oh, you’re so wrong! It’s only now that I realise our generation have a problem. We’ve been growing up as the internet has grown, and I’ve been using the internet daily since I was about 13.

I’ve spent the entire summer stuck at home due to money issues and lack of friends, blah blah blah, but I’ve spent pretty much the entirety of each day on the internet. Countless hours refreshing my Facebook & Twitter feeds, repining emotional quotes on Pinterest, watching a gazillion YouTube videos, reading some of my favourite blogs, watching a shit-ton of films and TV shows on Netflix, or even googling random questions to enhance my oh-so-interesting life. “How to work an electric cooker” for example… The exact same as a gas one, if you’re wondering!

I recently moved into my new house for uni, and had to deal with 3 days before BT installed my wifi. For most sane people, 3 days is nothing at all. For me, it was like torture! I had to try and find things to do involving no internet access whatsoever, which for me, was a task and a half! I even left the house! *pause for dramatic effect*

On the upside, I found myself doing a bunch of DIY projects for my new room, which made it feel so much more homely (post to follow soon).

I’d love to know if any of you are the same. Do you think you’re addicted to the internet? I think the way to know for sure, is this: when your internet gets activated at 11:52pm, the first thing you do is switch on Netflix for the new Breaking Bad episode you missed. Just me…?

Long Distance Relationships.

September is upon us! Which means that thousands of new students will be joining the university ranks, which, in my opinion, is the best experience of your life! But anyway, as I thought about all the new freshers, I recalled last year, when I myself was just a teeny tiny newbie (not that I’ve grown much in the last year), and how, despite how excited I was to be going to uni, I was nervous about whether or not my relationship would last.

I’d say I’m pretty qualified to talk about long distance relationships, as my last two have, at some point, involved distance. I was with my ex for 2 years prior to uni, and we were in a pretty good place as far as I can remember. When applying to unis, we knew that we wanted to do different things, so we both applied for different unis across different parts of the country. We didn’t worry about how hard it was going to be to stay together, as we knew that whatever decision we made about our uni choices was far more important to our later lives.

He ended up going off to Southampton, and me to Canterbury. That meant that if we wanted to visit each other, we’d have to get a train/coach into London, then back down again. We discussed everything before we left, having every intention of making things work, but as soon as we moved, I knew things weren’t going to last.

That sounds bad, but I did. It was inevitable. We were both enjoying ourselves far too much, and I’ll admit, I didn’t want to make an effort, because I was having too much fun where I was. I didn’t want to take a weekend out to go and visit, and I could slowly feel myself losing interest. As much as I still cared about him, it didn’t feel like a relationship anymore, and when we went home for Christmas, things weren’t the same in the slightest. We broke up soon after that.

Another example is with my then uni boyfriend, who lives in Cambridgeshire, about a 2 hour journey from me. When we went home for our Easter break, the distance had an opposite affect on our relationship. Instead of making us drift apart, I found myself making a ridiculous amount of effort to make contact with him, that I’ve never experienced before. I longed for our nightly 3 hours Skype chats, and I was so excited when we did get to visit each other. If anything, the distance made me love him even more, because of all that anticipation.

There’s no telling what way a relationship can go when it’s long distance. All I can say, is that if you’re both willing to make the effort to see and talk to each other regularly, I don’t see why things couldn’t work out. But I can’t stress this enough: never choose to stay close to home or go to the same uni as your partner, just because you’re worried about breaking up. You’re still young, do what’s best for you, and if it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way to make it work between you.

Things I'll Never Understand: #1 - Cheating

There are some things in life I’ll just never understand. Violence, for example. If things get heated, why can’t you just talk it out, then calm down with a DVD & a cup of tea? Maybe throw in a few biscuits if you’re feeling particularly het up. There’s no need for punches to be thrown around. That shit just gets messy.

Another thing I’ll never understand is pet names. In my past relationships, never have I felt the need to use or be called pet names. Maybe I’m just cynical, but “baby”, “sweetheart”, “honey” and a whole manner of ridiculous names do not appeal to me in the slightest. Yes, I’m from Essex, so I’ve inevitably been brought up with the use of “babe” throughout my school life, but I still only use it in jest, not to any male partners as a serious nickname. 

There’s a whole manner of things that I’ll never understand, and hey, maybe I’ll make a series out of it, but one at the top of my list is cheating.

Why anybody in a relationship would want to cheat on their other half is a complete mystery to me. If things aren’t going well in the relationship, end it. Walk away. Why would you instead, make things even more complicated, by involving somebody else? That 1) makes you a complete bastard, and 2) also has the potential to break the heart of the person you once cared about.

I’ve been lucky enough to have never been cheated on. In fact, all of my past relationships have ended on good terms. However, if any of them had cheated, that would have completely destroyed me. To think that the person you care about, the person you’ve shared a huge part of your life with, could just completely disregard all of that history, all of those feelings, and sleep with someone else… I can only imagine how someone must feel in that situation.

Another thing I don’t get is why anybody would want to be a part of something like that. Some people accept that the person pursuing them is taken, yet they choose to ignore that and go along with it anyway? No way. I was once approached by a guy in a club at uni, who I knew for a fact had a girlfriend back home. I could have easily ignored that, and gone back with him anyway, but for me, the thought of being a part of that makes me feel a bit sick. Just imagining how that poor girl would feel when she found out, the guilt would be way too much for me to handle.

I understand that feelings change. Sometimes it can’t be helped. Sometimes you’ll be in one relationship, and then someone else comes along, completely unexpectedly, and you end up falling for them a little. If that was ever the case, I would never string along a guy, allowing him to think that everything was perfectly okay, for him to then find out that I’d cheated on him. If I ever had feelings for another guy, I would end my current relationship way before pursuing anything with him.

I know people who have cheated, and been cheated on, and a common excuse would be “it was a mistake”. Yes, alcohol is one of the main culprits behind moments like this, but still, even if I was completely intoxicated, I’d like to think that my morals would take over before I’d ever have the chance to do anything like that. Or maybe I’m just too headstrong.

For me at least, I never see cheating as an option. I would never think it was okay. If you’re not happy, end it, then enjoy being single, do whatever you please, but never break somebody’s heart by sharing yours with someone else. Besides, you'd then be labelled with the old "once a cheater, always a cheater". 

I’d love to hear your opinions on this, do you ever think cheating is okay? And also let me know if you’d want to see this “Things I’ll Never Understand” as a series!

Confusion.

It’s not a secret to us females that men are confusing. But why is that? They’re not a complicated gender. In fact, as a woman, I can say with confidence, that we are a hell of a lot more complicated than men, yet I don’t think we’re confusing in the slightest.

When it comes to finding out what a man wants, it’s near enough impossible. They send out mixed signals, they can bombard you with messages & attention one minute, then completely ignore you the next. They can never be open and just tell us what they want, be it a relationship or not.

I’ve had times when I’ve been talking to a guy, and he’ll seem genuinely interested in how I am, ask loads of questions, and make me feel like he really does want to talk to me, like he actually really cares.

Then the next minute, he’ll send me one word replies, such as “haha” which, of course, completely kills the conversation. To me, that gives the impression that you’re not interested, that you don’t want to continue talking to me.

But then he’ll pop up in conversation while he’s WITH HIS FRIENDS, and ask new questions or start a new conversation when it’s run dry. It might just be my brain over-thinking, but to me, when a guy talks to you while he’s with his friends, there’s more there than just friendship. I’ve been with guys in the past who have openly told me that they won’t speak to me when they’re with their friends. Friend time is guy time, and they don’t want to be texting their girlfriend when they’d rather be spending time with their friends. And I’ve always accepted that. But talking to me for hours while he’s with his friends? That says that he cares.

If there are any guys reading this, seriously: stop messing with our emotions. If you like us, tell us, if you don’t, tell us that too. Don’t leave us to over-think every little detail of our conversations. It’s tiring. Stop being so confusing.