New Beginnings

I've been slacking pretty badly with my #2014BloggerChallenges lately. I'll get the email with the topic, and completely forget to write it up. Bad, I know, but hey, I've been pretty busy lately! But here's this week's post about new beginnings.

I wasn't sure how to approach this. I'm entering my third and final year (not including my post-grad course next year) of university, and I didn't think that much had changed in comparison to the last two years. But I was pretty wrong. A LOT has changed in this past year that for months, made me an emotional ticking time bomb. One minute I'd be perfectly fine, and the next, I'd lock myself in my room and just cry to myself.

There was so much confusion with Mr. T. I went back to uni with no intention of getting back together with him at all. I wanted him to regret his choices, of course, but I didn't want to give him a second chance. He'd lost that right. But that changed when I saw him, and every memory I had with him came flooding back and sent me into a state of confusion. I didn't want to give him another chance. He'd hurt me, yet when he came to me wanting to talk, saying how he was also confused... I couldn't help but talk to him, and figure out what we wanted to do. I didn't want to jump back into a relationship, but I didn't want us to not try. It was one of the most confusing times for the both of us, and for about 5 or 6 months, I still didn't know if it was going to go anywhere - was it even a relationship yet?

And then in October, me and my then best-friend had a HUGE fall-out, one that I've been unsure about whether or not I should go into detail at some point on here... I've never argued with anyone that much before, never felt like I was being victimised (even though I know she felt the same way towards me). It was one of the most stressful times of my life. I just wanted for us to be friends again (she was like my sister), but I didn't want to give up my position and to say that I was in the wrong, when I genuinely didn't believe that I was, and I still don't. It didn't help that I had to live with her for the next 8 months, either. I've always been scared of confrontation, and this put my limits to the test, big time.

So this time, I'm looking forward to a new beginning, in a way. My relationship with Mr. T is the best it's ever been, and I'm so happy with him. I'm finally at a point where I feel stable. And I'm looking forward to living with two of my favourite people, with as minimal drama and arguments as possible *she says hopefully*. I have a part-time job to keep some money coming in so that I can save up for the costs of living next year, and I'm looking forward to just enjoying my final year at Kent with the people I love.