Dear Me,
Stop being so hard on yourself. School is supposed to be one of the best times in your life, and it will get better, I promise. You think that you're unimportant, that you're just a "floater" with no real set friendship group. But you have no idea how close you'll grow to people you never expected to. Even now, 6 years after you left school, you're still just as close to some of those people as you were then.
You think that looks are the most important thing, that you're not as pretty as the other girls in class because you don't wear makeup everyday and the boys never float in your direction. And there's so many things that are wrong with that. You don't need makeup to define your beauty, and you definitely don't need boys' approval for that either.
Stop obsessing over the way you look. Everybody is so different, and that's what makes it interesting. You may not have the straightest nose, and your boobs may not have come in yet (give it a few years, trust me, they'll get there!), but you have just as much beauty as everyone else. The girl in your class with the figure you want? She probably wants your hair, it's lovely. Everybody wants something that they don't have themselves, it's in our nature.
The years of being independent will help you to grow so much more than if you spend your time chasing boys. And just between you and me, the two long term relationships you'll have in the next few years are way more intimate than a string of secondary school "boyfriends" that last a week each.
Be more confident in yourself. You're such a timid girl, and there's really no reason for it. If you get the wrong answer in class, so what? Don't let that stop you from putting your hand up again. If you meet new people, introduce yourself, I'm sure they feel just as awkward as you do. Open up to people more, life is so much more fun when you let people in. A little confidence can go such a long way, and it'll come to you soon.
Some of the best years are about to come for you. Stay positive, trust me, life has a funny way of working itself out. Just maybe don't get that bob you've always wanted... it's not the best idea you've had!
x
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