A Few Of My Favourite Things

Hello, you lovely lot! My blogging schedule's been all over the place lately, with essay deadlines, personal statements to write, and generally just being a bit scatter-brained. So to make it up to you guys, I've decided to undertake Blogmas this year! I'll be blogging every single day from the 1st December until the 31st *squeals in excitement*!

As I'm sure you'll be seeing plenty from me very soon, I thought I'd do the "A Few Of My Favourite Things" tag! There are 20 categories, with 3 answers for each, so here it is! 

1. Products 

Snow Fairy shower gel - literally my favourite scent, ever!

Soap & Glory's The Breakfast Scrub - the best exfoliator I've ever used.

L'Oreal's Extraordinary Oil - to leave your hair soft and shiny!

2. Foods

White Chocolate Toblerone - just mmmmmmmm...

Pizza - so many flavours, so much taste. 

Passionfruit - my favourite flavour!

3. Places

My family home in Essex - no matter how long I'm away for, that'll always be my real home. 

The Chocolate Cafe - one of my favourite chill-out places in Canterbury. 

Florida - I miss going here every year </3

4. Things You'd Miss

My phone - I'd be pretty lost without it!

My boyfriend - sorry to be cringey. 

My family - again, cringe, but I don't know what I'd do without my mum, sister and brother!

5. Things You Do When You're Bored

Scroll through social media. 

Blog!

Read.

6. Things You Do When It's Sunny

Go for long walks

Sunbathe (if it's hot, of course)

Have a drink in a pub garden.

7. Films

Fight Club

Black Swan

Love Actually

8. Songs

Blackbird - The Beatles

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

Thunderstruck - ACDC

9. Brands

LUSH

Rimmel

Soap & Glory

10. Outdoor Things That You Like

Wild Flowers

Squirrels 

Buskers

11. Events 

Christmas

Halloween

My Birthday

12. Cartoons

Frozen

Finding Nemo

The Little Mermaid

13. Buildings

Canterbury Cathedral

London Bridge

The Eiffel Tower

14. Anything in Everyday Life

Catching up with friends

Date nights

When things go right

15. Traits in any person, not just partners. 

Honesty

Loyalty

Sense of humour

16. Influences 

I've drawn a complete blank here, sorry...

17. Drinks

Cocktails

Still lemonade 

Mountain Dew

18. Experiences 

Getting into university 

Climbing the Acropolis in Athens 

The view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower

19. Things to watch 

Breaking Bad

The Walking Dead

Orphan Black

20. Bloggers 

Student Life

All I Know Now 

Rebecca Coco

If you guys want to do this tag, leave the post in a comment below and I'll be sure to check it out! I'll also be attending the Bloggers Love Hub event on the 24th November, so if you're attending too, feel free to come and say hi! 

Stay beautiful! x

When Love Takes Over

So the typical story goes: boy meets girl, boy asks girl out, a relationship starts to blossom, and after a few months, they say their "I love you"'s, and everything's good. Mine and Mr T's story has always been a little... unconventional...

Boy meets girl, boy tells girl he likes her, girl says she has a boyfriend. Boy and girl stay friends, but after a while, girl starts to feel a little something for boy. Girl ends her relationship, and after a few weeks, boy and girl start seeing each other, making things official after about a month. Boy and girl are happy. Girl starts to realise that boy isn't happy anymore, so they end things. Boy and girl talk a little, before boy pisses off girl, and girl almost does something she'd regret to piss off boy in return. Although girl didn't do the bad thing, she tells boy anyway, and somehow this becomes a way for them to be friends again. Boy and girl come back to uni, and start seeing each other again. Things are rocky for a while, with no real definition of their relationship. Girl falls in love with boy, but boy seems indifferent. Christmas gives their relationship a definition, but boy still seems indifferent to girl. Girl finds herself getting upset over everything because she knows her feelings are a lot stronger than boy's. Boy does something little that really upsets girl, forcing her mind to bring up every little thing he's ever done, and pushes her over the edge. Girl goes crazy and gives boy an ultimatum. Boy gets his act together, and both are happy. Girl brings up the "I love you" issue, and asks why boy can't feel those things back. Boy tells girl that he's happy as he is, and he doesn't want to ruin their relationship by moving too fast. Girl thinks this is bullshit, but keeps her thoughts to herself for a while, before asking again a few months later. Boy tells girl he thinks he loves her, but won't say anything until he knows for sure. This makes girl happy. Until it's been another 3 months and boy still hasn't said anything. Girl tells boy outright that she loves him, and boy replies that that is the cutest thing he's ever heard. Girl is upset that boy still couldn't say it back. While drunk, boy tells girl he doesn't love her, whilst laughing. Girl asks boy the next day if that's true. Boy replies that he wouldn't say it's true, but he also wouldn't say that he 100% does love her. Girl is upset. Boy goes home for the weekend, still leaving the issue unsolved.

This was two weeks ago now. Imagine you were in my position. You've been in love with this guy for over a year, and you've been waiting the entire time for him to say it back... And it just never came. Imagine that it gets to the point where you start to think about your worth. That no matter how much you care about this guy, you know you deserve to be loved in return, and that if this guy can't give you that love, maybe you need to give up, and find someone who can. You think about how much you've compromised for this man, how many times you've let things slide, and that if he still can't love you, that glimmer of hope you've been holding onto for the last year, has gone out. You prepare yourself for an emotional, in depth conversation that could end one of two ways, and then...

A knock on your bedroom door surprised you, and Mr. T. walks in, with chocolate, Mountain Dew, and a determined look on his face. He closes the door, pulls you in for a cuddle, and says that he's been thinking about it on the train back, and for once, there have been no thoughts of doubt. No little voice in his head saying that he doesn't love me. And then he says it. The one thing you've been waiting to hear for over a year. I love you.

I'll admit, my reaction was more shocked than anything. I didn't run, crying into his arms. I gave an awkward kiss and a cuddle and put on Netflix. Maybe my reaction would have been more emotional if I hadn't have spent the last 4 days angrily thinking of reasons why we maybe shouldn't be together anymore. But it had an impact. Those thoughts are gone now. I'm happy, and for once, there's no voice in my head pestering me that he's not committed to us.

Now I'm not saying that, now he's finally said I love you, we're gonna be together forever, get married, and have kids. Who knows how long our relationship will last. That's not meaning to sound negative, but life is so unpredictable, it throws so many twists and turns, you never know how long things will last. I mean I don't even know how we're gonna cope past graduation this summer!

But I do know that right now, I feel relaxed. I feel happy. And I feel loved. Which is all that really matters, right?

New Beginnings

I've been slacking pretty badly with my #2014BloggerChallenges lately. I'll get the email with the topic, and completely forget to write it up. Bad, I know, but hey, I've been pretty busy lately! But here's this week's post about new beginnings.

I wasn't sure how to approach this. I'm entering my third and final year (not including my post-grad course next year) of university, and I didn't think that much had changed in comparison to the last two years. But I was pretty wrong. A LOT has changed in this past year that for months, made me an emotional ticking time bomb. One minute I'd be perfectly fine, and the next, I'd lock myself in my room and just cry to myself.

There was so much confusion with Mr. T. I went back to uni with no intention of getting back together with him at all. I wanted him to regret his choices, of course, but I didn't want to give him a second chance. He'd lost that right. But that changed when I saw him, and every memory I had with him came flooding back and sent me into a state of confusion. I didn't want to give him another chance. He'd hurt me, yet when he came to me wanting to talk, saying how he was also confused... I couldn't help but talk to him, and figure out what we wanted to do. I didn't want to jump back into a relationship, but I didn't want us to not try. It was one of the most confusing times for the both of us, and for about 5 or 6 months, I still didn't know if it was going to go anywhere - was it even a relationship yet?

And then in October, me and my then best-friend had a HUGE fall-out, one that I've been unsure about whether or not I should go into detail at some point on here... I've never argued with anyone that much before, never felt like I was being victimised (even though I know she felt the same way towards me). It was one of the most stressful times of my life. I just wanted for us to be friends again (she was like my sister), but I didn't want to give up my position and to say that I was in the wrong, when I genuinely didn't believe that I was, and I still don't. It didn't help that I had to live with her for the next 8 months, either. I've always been scared of confrontation, and this put my limits to the test, big time.

So this time, I'm looking forward to a new beginning, in a way. My relationship with Mr. T is the best it's ever been, and I'm so happy with him. I'm finally at a point where I feel stable. And I'm looking forward to living with two of my favourite people, with as minimal drama and arguments as possible *she says hopefully*. I have a part-time job to keep some money coming in so that I can save up for the costs of living next year, and I'm looking forward to just enjoying my final year at Kent with the people I love.

The Problem With Love

As far as relationships go, mine is pretty unconventional. Without counting our blip last summer, Mr T and I have been together for roughly a year and a half, which is pretty damn long! Yet, he's always had an issue with saying certain things.

He's not an emotional person by any means, so trying to get him to tell me what his issue with "I love you" is, has always been something I've struggled with. I mean sure, saying "I love you" for the first time is always hard. Is it the right time? Do I definitely feel that way? Do they feel the same? etc. etc. But when you know for sure that they do, that should make it easier, right?

About 6 months ago, I asked him why he couldn't feel those things. Yes, he cared about me a lot, but sometimes a girl just wants to be loved, and to know why someone can't yet feel that way. At that point, he told me that he thought it was to do with how things were with his ex, and that he's never truly loved anyone in that way before, so he doesn't know what it felt like.

At that point I knew that he didn't love me. They say that you know when you know, and he definitely didn't know.

I didn't bring it up again, but for the next few months after that, there was a huge change in our relationship, and I started to see a real difference in his actions. It seemed like maybe he was starting to feel things more.

About a month ago, I asked him why he's scared of emotional commitment, and I finally got the real answer. He explained that when you say you love someone, everything becomes so much more intense, and if something goes wrong, it's 100 times worse than if you didn't say that.

It's true, of course it is. But why does that have to stop you from saying that you love someone? I spent the weekend with him for his sister's wedding. A weekend surrounded by love and happiness, and all I wanted to do was tell him that I love him. But I couldn't help thinking that if I said that to him (even though he knows I do), he would feel pressured to say the same, even if he wasn't ready for it.

Love is one of the most powerful emotions we can feel as humans. And the most beautiful. To feel so strongly about another person is scary, especially if you've never experienced that before. But isn't it worth it to let those emotions out, and show the other person how much you care? Because even if something does go wrong, it would still hurt for you. Just because you don't tell someone how you feel, it doesn't stop you from feeling that way.

I'm still waiting for my "I love you". Don't stop someone else from hearing yours. Because trust me, there's nothing better than hearing the person you love say they love you too.

Acropolis of Athens

Well, it's certainly been a while, hasn't it! Apologies for the lack of posts over the last few weeks, but I've been so busy! I was in Athens for a week, then the day after I got home, I was off to Bolton to visit family, and I'm currently on my ONE day at home before heading to Sheffield for Mr T's sister's wedding! To be honest, I'm getting pretty sick of travelling!

I have some pretty exciting things coming up on this blog (stay tuned!), but until then, I wanted to share with you one of my favourite things about visiting Athens.

On my last day there, I decided to venture out into the city on my own, and climb the famous Acropolis hill to see the Parthenon and the ruins. I was told that the climb was torture, but I didn't find that at all!

I got lost on my way there, but found some of the cutest Greek streets and the most beautiful views. And I couldn't stop snapping pictures the entire climb; it was so breathtaking!

For those of you who are unaware of the Acropolis, this is it both during the day and night! Beautiful, right?

Once you reach the top, you can look at the ancient ruins, the most famous being the Parthenon. I had to take a selfie. 

But my favourite part about the Acropolis, was the astounding views I got to take in! I've never felt so calm and in awe of anything so much before. 

Who wouldn't be blown away by this?